“With their parallel lives. Animals offer man a companionship which is different from any offered by human exchange. Different because it is a companionship offered to the loneliness of man as a species.”
SCENE IDEA: “Animal Seance” “you” are exhausted after a long day at work. Another cog in the machine. So you decide to unwind by preparing for a bath. you begin by undoing the noose around your neck. Next, you retire your pants. Stripping off each outer layer- garment by garment. you are down to one final sock. Looking quite silly standing there in your single sock, you peel it off your foot and toss it toward your bed. And at last you see Her. Or rather, She sees you. Her gaze penetrates your naked human body. The look is ruthless, it is as if the eyes themselves have stripped you. you wonder to yourself, “Christ, has this cat been watching me this entire time?” you suddenly feel off guard, ashamed. And then ashamed of your own shame. you feel yourself turning red (oh, how your body continues to betray you ) She of course notices this too. Foolishly, you think to put your clothes back on, but that would require taking a step in her direction, and you don’t have the self respect to do that now. So instead you resort to covering your tiny prick with the palm of your hand. you think it silly that you should be so embarrassed by this cat, and yet you are. She watches you objectively for what you truly are. In your most natural form.
~We can endure horror, each of us we already have. What we can not endure is solitude.~
A small acting out of cruelty temporarily expunged from my system:
I have an early memory of myself about 7 or so: I’m visiting an aunt out in the sticks of the CA valleys. In the backyard is a street dog the kids had taken in. She’s just given birth to a litter of puppies. The little critters swarm their mother for her breast milk. The puppies have yet to even open their eyes. They must be drawn to the warmth and scent of their mother. I was alone observing them with curiosity. Then like God itself, I pick up a handful of the puppies and carry them away. Past the comfortably shaded cracked concrete toward the trees in the dried out lawn. It is there that I isolate them onto a hammock, an entire universe away. I watch them blindly search for their mother’s nipple. They try to crawl up and out only to tumble back down disoriented. They act locked in this repetition. Watching them helpless gives me some sick pleasure. It's hard to describe. It's that feeling buried deep within us that seeks supremacy, to claim authority, to seek our own pleasure at the expense of the other. I wonder to myself if they’ll carry this memory of abandonment with them forever as I -afraid of being caught- finally put them back with the rest of the litter.
I don’t know if I identify with the title of pet owner, certainly not in vanilla life. Perhaps this is because I more readily identify with the "other". The idea of pets makes me sad. Dogs in particular who love so easily- in spite of their human bubble- existing in our temperature mediated spaces, touching carpets over Earth, consuming artificial food, receiving limited interactions between their own kind, enjoying the freedom to roam up until the end of the Master’s leash. No wonder this makes a ripe playing ground for D/s.
As with all D/s it is established on a basis of consent. The rules to the games we play are all negotiated in advance.
I sweep you off your pedestal of manhood. You are just as mortal as I. Let me be the mirror that cracks upon glance at reflection. You might find pretending to be a dog humiliating, liberating, likely both. Either way, we can agree you look much better on all fours.
My preferred title and play style is as a “primal”. Whereas the pet owner assumes Domination over the animal (the pet), the former encourages us to embrace the wild animal within us all . That is us all. Dominion over animals is ingrained in the Western consciousness. Even (maybe especially?) through language we can’t escape our anthropocentrism.
To dehumanize. The inhumane. Is what? ~ Unspeakable cruelty.
Is this why language often fails me? Was it the words I spoke or the words themselves. (Where does the blame lie?) Words get tricky but I can trust feeling and movement. It’s the fear of being misunderstood. But with "the animal", there is a mystery. The certainty is that they are unreachable, indeed there are limitations to the human mind.
Homosapien: apologize for your behavior
Creature: ahfjcieikdnevwgskdlemxbdhjfjycvilopotdstesrdfgfhgtytbrhr
Being a Primal is not easily defined but I will try my best to explain what it means to me in how I play and interact with those around me. Primal play to me, is navigating play with an honesty about my desires; letting go of the constraints of social norms. It is the wild aspect we all have within us, that most deny.
There are many misconceptions around Primal play. It is not to devolve oneself, I don’t even think it is a return to anything. It is rather an acceptance of what we are. Being primal is raw, instinctual and emotional, but that DOES NOT mean shutting down my higher brain function. (As I’ve unfortunately seen some community members use the excuse of “going primal” as a sick attempt to deflect consent violations).
Then, there is pleasure in receiving. To bite into your skin, leaving you with the crescent moon trace of My teeth in your flesh. Leaving Me with the taste of your fear in My mouth. It's sweet, like those tears of joy and anguish you’ve shedded.
In a scene I most enjoy playing the role of Predator, stalking and hunting My prey. I enjoy the struggle and conquest. Seeing the fear in the eyes of My victim- I mean playmate- pinning them down and leaving them helpless, arouses Me.
Unlike pet play, “becoming the animal” feels more like a superpower. Or just power itself. And it lends its usefulness to me in everyday life. For example: When men try to eyefuck me on the train, I don’t look away, I match their gaze. A raw kind of look that seeks to hunt and kill. When “cat-called” (haha) on the street, I hiss and bare my teeth at them in joyous rebellion. When I am in a primal headspace, I am no longer even She- I am Creature, genderless.
I don’t like being controlled and I resent domestication in any form.
Thought: Since women are supposedly closer to nature perhaps I’d be better off in the woods with a dozen cats and married to a boar. Man has no authority over me or my animal comrades.
“Animal is a word that men have given themselves the right to give”. And I strip that authority from you now. So yes, I’ve returned to the experimental cruelty of my childhood days. Now you are the subject. you who fear knowing and experiencing the truth of yourself.